Pray Without Ceasing?
I love the 1974 movie “Fiddler on the Roof.” Between 1894 and 1914 Sholem Aleichem wrote a series of stories about life in the Settlement of Pale. This was an area in Imperial Russia where the Jews were allowed to live. As a rule, they were strictly forbidden from living outside this area. Scratching out a living was tough and the government could be even crueler. Between the original writings and the hit Broadway musical and 1974 film, the stories were greatly watered down to appeal to wider audiences. As it was, critics weren’t sure that the public would embrace a story that was “so Jewish”. They believed that it would be hard to relate to. Thankfully the critics were wrong. The original stories were about Tevye and his Daughters. And the main storyline remained about them. As the movie goes along, Tevye watches as his three oldest daughters each part from tradition more than the last. The storyline that many miss though is Tevye’s walk with God. In 1st Thessalonians 5:16-18 all go together, and yet each can stand alone. Rejoice always. Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. Although the first and last parts make the middle easier, I’m not going to focus on them first. After explaining the title of the story, “Fiddler on the Roof,” Tevye is seen leading his horse which is hitched to a cart of milk and cheese. He’s talking to God. he says something like “It’s OK that you made me poor and gave me five daughters. But why did you have to let my horse go lame? What did he do to you?” He continues, “Sometimes I think you sit up there and wonder, “What trick can I pull on my friend Tevye?” As he gets home to unhook his horse from the cart before continuing his deliveries, he picks up the discussion again asking, “What would have been so wrong with making me a little wealthier?” Then he breaks into the famous song “If I Were a Rich Man.” This is an example of praying without ceasing. No, he wasn’t rejoicing as he was grousing at God. And the command to rejoice always is woven throughout the entire Bible from early in the Old Testament through much of the New Testament. But, let’s cut him a little slack as we look at the substance and importance of what he was doing. “It’s OK that you made me poor and gave me five daughters.” Yeah, his tone is one of complaint and he is putting the full weight of the burden on God. But, and this is huge, he is accepting of the situation. This is the lot that God gave him and that’s OK. It’s not fun, but it’s OK. There is an acceptance there that God is present and ultimately in control. In our first-world culture, that is so easy to forget. We focus so much on the physical and tangible of this world that there is little room for God. But he’s doing something else too. He’s inviting God into every situation. Now if we believe that God already knows everything and is everywhere then isn’t it a little silly that we ignore Him so often? There’s nothing profound or deeply spiritual about anything that Tevye is saying, but he is simply walking and talking with God. When he is being facetious about God playing tricks on him, he quotes God as saying, “My friend Tevye.” I don’t think there’s anything sacrilegious or overly familiar here. Instead, I think it’s an extension of the conversation. Tevye is in the habit of being in the company of God. I don’t see this as assuming they’re equals, but acknowledging that there is a relationship there. In my book, “How to be a Christian in Today’s World: Shame or Fear of Failure vs. Living Confidently in God’s Love,” I relate a personal story of a time when I was physically, emotionally, and spiritually done. I had nothing left at all. Most of my days were spent just lying in bed next to my wife. I didn’t talk, I wasn’t on the computer, and I didn’t even watch whatever she had on TV. It was all beyond me. But, my dog still had to go outside periodically. When I took her out, I would sit on my chair on the deck and stare at the mountain across the way. Sometimes I sat there for hours. As I did, changes in light and shadow took my attention to different parts of the mountain. After a while, I found myself saying, “Hey I’ve never seen that rock pile before God, thanks.” As I did this two things happened, my focus moved off of me and my misery. And I was inviting God in. Like Tevye, there was nothing deeply profound, just an awareness and acceptance that I was His and in His presence. At first, the change was slow, but the pace picked up pretty quickly and I allowed myself to not only return to the land of the living but to begin to rejoice again and get excited about what God had for me. I encourage you to find times when you don’t have to worry about being embarrassed because you’re around other people. But find a few minutes each day to just talk to God. Talk to Him about what you’re thinking, what you’re seeing, etc. Maybe ask for His guidance or wisdom. You’ll come up with something. You’ve got this. Facebook Twitter LinkedIn
Mountains and Waves
The last few years have brought a number of challenges to our family. OneDrive sends me memories each day and before I figured out how to retrieve it this morning, I had deleted the notification. So that’s not the picture that’s heading this blog post. But then, this is prettier than my mug anyway. But it was a picture of me preaching at the church I pastored at. For some reason, that made me think of all that has happened since 2015. We’ve probably been hit harder in the last eight years than ever before. And I include the times, years ago, when we were separated, then homeless in that equation. The other night, my beautiful bride handed me the remote for the TV. It was early enough that I was surprised. (I often only get the remote when she’s getting tired, which is just fine with me.) Since it was so early, I picked a movie. I have no idea why it came up as a suggestion, but we watched “A Man Called Ove.” It turned out to be in Swedish with subtitles. (For the few that know my history, yes, I could understand some of it. Unfortunately, it was too much too quickly with some thick accents, so I did have to read the subtitles.) At any rate, the description of a grumpy old man being brought out of his shell by new raucous neighbors didn’t prepare me for the movie. I won’t give any spoilers as it really was a good movie. The reason I mention it though is that I guess I never fully felt the chaos of a year ago. I spent six months rarely feeling, but just being busy. Oh, I had a few emotional moments, but I was mostly just business. You see, due to two botched surgeries, my wife spent that time hospitalized, drifting between stable and critical. As a rule, her doctor characterized her condition as “unstably stable.” In other words, she was OK at the moment, but things could turn for the worse at any time. And things did take a number of turns for the worse. As “A Man Called Ove” was ending I was sobbing. It brought all the pain and fear of that six months to the forefront. Sometimes we remember the pain and it is just as powerful as if it was current. I could have held onto it. I blame the doctor that performed the surgeries for the entire period and the after-effects that my wife will continue to deal with for a number of months. I could have allowed the feelings to bring up anger. I could have dwelt on any number of things. Instead, I allowed the wave that surprised me with its force to just wash over me and pass on. Oh, I mentioned the mountain earlier. When I was home for a couple of days at a time during my wife’s hospital stay, I would either sit in the front yard and look at the mountains or sit in the backyard and watch Orion rise in the night sky. I instinctively went to things that brought me peace. Writing is cathartic for me, but I don’t ever write for me. I write for you. So, this is an encouragement to find things to focus on that bring you peace. And when pain comes, allow it to wash over you and move on. Facebook Twitter LinkedIn
What’s Around the Next Curve?
One of the areas that required the most personal development when I became disabled was riding/touring. For the last several years before I got sick, I had been participating in a competitive long distance riding event. Yes, I like to compete and I would push myself to be able to do so. But it was also about seeing more of this great country of ours. I explain motorcycling to “cagers” (car drivers) as being the difference between watching the TV and being “in it.” I’ve ridden a motorcycle for my entire adult life. Usually, a bike was my primary mode of transportation. But it wasn’t until about twenty years ago that I actually got the difference. I was riding with my best friend and father-in-law. We had taken a weekend camping trip on our bikes and set out on Saturday morning to ride Arizona’s most technical and dangerous road. The morning began splendidly as we rode south and I followed the FIL, just letting the rising sun clear the cobwebs from my still sleepy head. It was almost as if I could feel it. But the moment that changed my life was when we were heading into Hannnagan Meadow. We had been riding out in the open at an elevation of around 9,000’. Despite the elevation, I had my jacket partially unzipped because we were riding in full sun and it was warming my black riding jacket quite nicely. Just before Hannagan Meadow, the road enters a narrow canyon. As we came around a curve and I entered the shadows, I suddenly felt my chest get very cold in the small triangle where my jacket was unzipped. That tiny detail made an impact on me as I suddenly could define why I preferred riding a bike to driving a car. In a car, I never would have noticed that change. And it was beautiful. As I zipped up my coat, I was enthralled with being IN the world. Today I won’t go into detail about the accident scene we came upon and providing care for Earl while we waited for the medevac chopper to show up. That is a story unto itself! Over the ensuing years, I rode more and more miles per trip and always alone. I came to cherish those times where I was alone on the road with God. You see, over the last several years that I rode, I would map the route between required stops for the competition I was riding in and then I would change the route to include any twisty or interesting looking roads. I never thought about the weather or what I would encounter. I just figured I’d handle it as it came. I’ve ridden across mountain passes where the road was covered in thick ice except for the tire track from the cars that had gone before me. I remember praying, “OK God, I’d appreciate it if you just picked me up and put me at the summit”. I thought about Elijah as I prayed. He didn’t. But as I got to the summit, the view of southern Utah was amazing. I could see the countryside that held multiple national parks. Usually, tall mountains stop the storm fronts, but as I stopped to enjoy the view of the Escalante Staircase, the rain I had been trying to stay ahead of all morning caught up to me and I had to move on. But I’ve also come around a curve and seen the amazing and unexpected Walker Lake in the middle of the moonscape that defines much of rural Nevada. And I’ve had a road along Idaho’s Salmon River all to myself as I mused that the pouch of salmon I had in my tank bag might not be as good as something fresh from the river. And I woke up from a nap on a side road with the feeling I was being watched to see a herd of sheep looking over a fence at me. You see, the point is that when you decide to walk with God and trust Him completely with your life and its direction, it’s much like a motorcycle ride. For a short time, you might white knuckle the grips as you try to stay upright across a mountain pass. Or you might see a series of beautiful sights that leave you wanting to go back. There are no guarantees that walking with God will be easy or fun. But what we do know is that it’s a journey and if we look forward with anticipation, “OK God, what do you have for me around the next bend?” then we will enjoy the trip that much more. Share on your favorite social media Facebook Twitter LinkedIn
“Innovate or Die”
I worked in industry for my previous career. It was only 17 years long between a late start and early retirement due to disability. But in that time, I was fortunate enough to have fallen into a niche that really didn’t exist when I started but has become a whole type of engineering. That meant that I was in middle management for most of those 17 years. That meant that I didn’t just do my job, I literally got involved in every aspect of the function of the business. With the exception of the 2 years I worked for a major entertainment company, it was all about Non-Disclosure Agreements and ultimate secrecy. In the other sectors, the companies all believed there was intense competition and slim margins. They all believed that somehow other companies would steal their newest improvements. This all meant that my sole purpose in life was to help factories make more product, faster, out of less material with less waste and lower costs. Many of these companies had a spoken or unspoken motto, “Innovate or Die.” I have often said in writing or from the pulpit that the church should look like a hospital. It should be full of sick people getting better. We cannot allow the church to be a hospice home where we go to slowly die. But that is on each of us, not just the pastor. We must be open to the love of God. We must let Him live through us. But to do that many of us have to allow Him to innovate us through the Spirit. Philippians 1:6 says that He will complete the good work that He began in us. But He has never been one to force Himself on us. If we back away from Him or just get distracted by the pressures of life, we can forget to rejoice in Him. A man who was both a great minister and admittedly broken man, Brennan Manning, had a habit of daily sitting with God and repeating, “I am yours Abba, I am yours.” Do we recognize that? Do we take time to be in relationship with Him? Or, are we just too busy? At the end of the day, we must all be willing to let Him innovate us, or we shall surely die. Facebook Twitter LinkedIn
Chasing Shadows
Having four cats in this household means that there are pretty much constant hijinks and entertainment. Boo, the black furball pictured above is the most curious and intent of them all. Once she has her mind set on something it is very difficult to distract her. The other night our big male was just walking around keeping an eye on me (he has the loyalty of a dog). He came around the corner towards the kitchen and I saw her pounce right behind him. I thought maybe she had a bug or something. Then as he walked a couple more steps, she did it again. By the third or fourth time, I finally figured out what was going on. She was chasing the shadow of his tail! He was completely oblivious, and she was entertained. The first thing I thought of was “Peter Pan.” But then, I wondered when she would get bored with the futility of it. On the one hand, she’s smart. On the other hand, once she’s fixated on something there is no redirecting her. As he left the kitchen, she was still intent on chasing his shadow. But the thing is, we do it too. We chase shadows with the same fixation and the same futility. For some, it’s the chase of a dream of happiness. The right girl or guy, the right car, the right job, whatever it is, shortly after we have it the novelty wears off and it doesn’t make us happy anymore. For others, it’s based on fear and worry. An all too common theme is anxiety or depression based on worry. The underlying cause always comes back to our thought lives. Now, I’m not talking about trauma or grief here, I’m talking about normal everyday anxiety and depression. We all have complex lives with several irons in the fire. Some have more than others, but few people live a truly simple life. What happens is that I’m thinking about being late on the rent while I’m at work or expecting my wife to be angry while I’m driving home. Some of the problems are real (the rent), while others may not be (my wife being mad). But while I’m at work, I can’t do anything about the rent. And during my drive home, I can’t do anything about how my wife is going to feel. So, we’re chasing shadows. We’re investing valuable mental, emotional, and physical energy in things that we can’t affect at the moment. I have an illustration that I use. When you open your front door, there is going to be a bear standing there ready to claw your face off. Your brain sends a signal out to hormone centers like your adrenal gland. Every system kicks into high gear so that your muscles have the energy to punch the bear in the nose (fight) or run away (flight). But sitting there on your couch worrying about the bear does nothing productive. But, what does happen is that your body is having a miniature fight or flight reaction based on the worry in your mind. This is where panic attacks and heartburn come from among others. So, go on Amazon and buy some bear spray or mount a shotgun over your door. Then you have done everything you can and you are done preparing. The only times we should be focused on a problem is when we are confronting it or preparing/planning to confront it. We find a message in Ecclesiastes that speaks to the solution several times. To abbreviate just one: Eat, drink, and enjoy the work that God has given you. In other words, instead of chasing shadows, learn to be fully present in life and find joy in every moment you can. Facebook Twitter LinkedIn
Thoughts That Came to Me About What’s Really Important
Following is a Facebook Post that isn’t about a book, but it is closely aligned to my next release. Which, by the way, I’m renaming after my bride and Beta Readers have suggested that although the title meant much to be, it was a little obtuse. So, at the moment, the next book will be titled, “Blessed Brokenness: Seeing God’s Glory in the Ashes of Life” At any rate: here’s the post – I hope it means something to somebody. I read a post by a cousin and commented on it. But it reminded me of a post I made around Christmas time and some thoughts I had on Christmas, 2021. I realized at the Neurologist’s office today that I remember the exact day that a doctor put a replacement medication pump in my wife. October 28, 2021, was the day that began a sequence of events that not only brought some of the worst parts of my life screaming to the forefront of my mind as well as causing my daughter and me to begin making sure we could make final preparations if need be. I was lining people up to handle different things for me and making sure we had a place for a service that would handle the crowd I expected and someone to do the service that knew her well enough but would be emotionally able to do it. A botched surgery and the “fix” for that surgery also being botched ended up creating a brain infection that caused the same condition that killed my brother, and I will always have to be watching for the signs that it is returning. You dance a very fine line between “Why would an insurance company pay for unneeded testing” and “We have a very short time to save her life.” But tonight I remembered 2 things. First, that I insisted we try to salvage some of the family Christmas by having a real dinner in a home and that my daughter and I prepare at least the one favorite dish that everybody loves (and that we can make without my wife giving instructions). I also remembered Christmas morning. Someone had lent me their vacation condo for a few days through Christmas. I got up that morning and was at the hospital by 8 am. As I pulled into the parking lot and got the very best van handicapped spot, I wasn’t sure whether to be sad or angry. The place was deserted. Her hospitalist had told me more than once how much he appreciated that I was there nearly every day as he had many patients who never had visitors or advocates at all. I sat and held her hand and read from the Bible then prayed with her, then just sat and held her hand some more. I did that until noon. Then as I was leaving, I saw that the lobby and parking lot were full of people and cars (the cars were in the parking lot only). Then I flashed back to being I think 4 years old and my brother was 8. He was at Los Angeles Children’s Memorial over Christmas. It’s the only year I ever remember both sets of grandparents being together. I remembered crying because my grandparents gave David the red truck and me the blue one when red was my favorite color and blue was his. I remembered this game that my Grandpa Hogan and I boisterously played until both grandmas and my mom yelled at us because they had asked us more than once to get out of the kitchen so they could serve breakfast. That’s when I realized that we weren’t there first thing Christmas morning. We did Christmas morning at the house then loaded up all his presents and took them to the hospital (where I had an asthma attack in the lobby, but that’s another story). So, suddenly, through the tears of my own came smiles of joy for all the families that were with their loved ones after making the best out of a disrupted holiday. It’s a strange juggling act. When you have a loved one that may very well be dying or is at least alone and you have family that is looking to you to decide how things will go. But both are important. My daughter has said that if mom went, she wouldn’t be surprised if I followed shortly after. That’s the love that we’ve built. But as much as I might selfishly want that, I love my daughter dearly too. And I knew that I couldn’t allow myself to crawl into that hole. Not on Christmas morning and not if, heaven forbid, the worst happened. I don’t think we ever said the word, even when I was making sure a friend would help spread the word and another would handle a service. I don’t think my daughter or I ever uttered the ‘D’ word. As I listen to her talk in her sleep (she did it before, but never this amount) I think about how much we will have to handle in the months to come all while being so grateful that I could bust. I don’t know if I really had a point to this. I like to have a point. Or as I think Mr. Peabody always came to the moral of the story… But I don’t have one, just what came flooding to my brain tonight. Facebook Twitter LinkedIn
Praying to Sleep
My second book, “When God Says No: Finding Glory in the Ashes” is currently in the initial editing phases. I’m excited and hope that it will be an inspiration to many and help them grow closer to Christ. In the book, I talk about nights falling asleep crying in prayer for my wife. I may again tonight. OK, maybe not with tears. My perspective on so many things has changed and I believe the book tells that story. But I will indeed likely fall asleep in prayer. My poor bride has finally passed out from exhaustion. And yet, she’s still hiccupping! When you don’t know what else to do, there’s always one thing left. Prayer! Of course, the Bible does say to pray without ceasing. That doesn’t seem very practical in modern times. I would never tell you to close your eyes in prayer during your daily commute! But, I always go back to one of my favorite movies of all time. I’m pretty sure that “Fiddler on the Roof” came out in 1974. It was a long time working its way from the original work to what they finally put on Broadway then on film. But in any case, the main character, Tevye opens the movie talking directly to God as he walks his lame horse home to the barn before finishing his deliveries, pushing the cart himself. Although he starts out griping (not the attitude I want us to have), he makes his way into the dreamer’s song, “If I Were a Rich Man.” But as the movie continues, at certain moments, all action will freeze as he looks at the camera and repeats something that was just said. I always feel like he’s talking to God. I do believe that we need to remember who God is vs. who we are. But evidence supports that Adam and Eve walked with God in the garden. They knew full well that He made them and feared his anger. But they also enjoyed His loving presence. So tonight, if she doesn’t stop hiccupping on her own, I will likely fall asleep praying for her. For if we are to pray without ceasing, then it must include moments where life isn’t on the line and maybe it isn’t even about hiccups, but just allowing the creator of the universe into our daily lives. Facebook Twitter LinkedIn
This Christmas Season
It feels appropriate to share this now. My wife was born at 28 weeks. 50 some odd years ago that should have been a death sentence. Instead, her symptoms were always extraordinarily mild. A little over a year ago, she had been through 28 surgeries since we married almost 32 years ago. But a little over a year ago a doctor that we trusted botched 2 surgeries in a row. She spent 5 months (roughly) in a trauma hospital with about 2 1/2 weeks in ICU. Including the botched surgeries, she had 7 more. This included 3 brain surgeries. Now, mind you, we’ve always had the brightest house at Christmas. The year that included a shooting victim is a separate story. But a few years ago, our daughters were all excited about decorating. Despite my wife’s admonitions that neither she nor I could help, the decorations had to come down in a timely manner. Understand that by this time, she was a triplegic and I had a neurologic disorder that prevents me from doing much. The decorations were finally put away in March. We haven’t put up anything since. Well, living in the high desert, it hasn’t “felt” like Christmastime since we left the Midwest. So, after last year as I watched for her to live or die and tried to keep the family together around all our traditions, this year is different. This year her folks will be with her sister in Illinois and our biological daughter (we’ve been mom and dad to many young people) will be on shift as an EMT (in training to be a paramedic). So, we will likely have frozen foods and stay in pajamas all day. In this family, we have learned how important family tradition is, even if it means spending the morning in a hospital next to your wife as she is unconscious before driving 2 hours home to insist on a “family dinner”. Yes, we all know the reason for the season is Christ. But from one who almost saw everything change, I want to encourage all of you to hold your loved ones and your family traditions near as we celebrate the coming of our Lord. You can have one without the other, but I can tell you from reading from Luke at my grandmother’s deathbed to splitting the day between my wife’s bedside and family dinner, that maintaining family traditions and remembering our Lord go best together. Facebook Twitter LinkedIn
Sermon vs. Counseling vs. Book
I only had a few opportunities where I preached several weeks in a row. So, normally, by the time my next turn to preach came around, I had a message that God had definitely put on my heart. In writing a sermon, I would blend using my education and abilities in addition to the Spirit’s leading. Some preachers prepare outlines only then fly by the seat of their pants, allowing the Spirit to lead. I was trained to write my message then practice it until I could reduce my notes to a single 3X5″ card. I was never good at that and like a friend of mine (whom I won’t call out) I essentially read my messages. Some felt like that was inhibiting the Spirit whereas I felt like the Spirit lead me in the original writing of the message. Indeed, there were Sunday mornings when I got up and tore up my sermon for that evening knowing that wasn’t what God wanted me to preach. But, one of the things that I was taught was to watch my congregation, maintain eye contact, and try to keep everyone engaged. As a result, I often gauged how good a job I did by how many people seemed moved or contemplative not by how many times I heard, “Great message Pastor.” As a matter of fact, that almost became a worrisome sign. If too many people said, “Good message Pastor,” then how many hearts were touched? The counseling relationship is much like the pastor/congregation relationship except that I can get to know what someone does or doesn’t understand and different ways to approach an issue. When you preach a sermon, you have to try to get the message to everyone in one hour, and rarely is that a recipe for universal success. But the counseling relationship also allows me to make sure that what we cover is exactly what that person needs. Writing “How to be a Christian in Today’s World” was like a mixture of both. God developed the message over a 3 or 4-year period independently in my wife and myself, so I knew what I had to write. Then, just like a sermon, I had an idea of the direction that I wanted to take, but as I studied and prayed, and listened, the message developed beyond anything I would have planned. Like a sermon, it may not be perfect for everyone. But, like a counseling session, I was able to go much more in-depth than a short sermon. It is my sincere hope and prayer that you will benefit from the book and share it with others. And most importantly for the book to spread, please write a review. Facebook Twitter LinkedIn
Rave Reviews!
A Must Read Book For Everyone Highly Recommended Reverend Matthew Hogan writes, How to Be a Christian in Today’s World, is aptly subtitled, Shame or Fear of Failing vs. Living Confidently in God’s Love. This sets the stage for his book that blends his own upbringing and life to shed light on ultimately God’s Word, as he and his wife came together in their faith. Growing up in the early 60’s presents an era gone by as he segways into advocating an understanding of God’s love. Admittedly, no one is spared trials and tribulations of life, as he shares intense family hardships and deaths that shaped his young childhood. Coming from a place of deep trauma experiencing the loss of his brother and the further dissolution of his parent’s marriage, he writes a book that presents a Biblical way to understand trials, maturing in Christ, and overcoming by the Spirit of God. Full of compassion and true to Scripture, readers will find his book refreshing. Separated into four categories such chapters as: Baby Steps, I am Loved! Churchese vs. the Word, and Walk it Out. With a Workbook section with questions in the back (6 sessions), which can be utilized as an at home personal study guide, or even within a close group setting. He addresses real life issues, feelings, and behaviors bringing a deeper faith, and reliance upon God, His Spirit, knowing we are loved by God, as he delves into the truth of the Word of God. This is one of those books that doesn’t smooth over subjects, but helps readers understand the immensity of God’s grace and love, offering solutions for the person that has been wounded and that has dealt with trauma. He has known this all too well in his own life, and he presents an easy read that is full of encouragement. In his last Chapter (p. 102), He states, “Like love, we can see that the ability to live a Godly life comes from God.” Further stating, “Everything about the Spirit will free us, guide us, and teach us, providing for Godly living.” He gives further instruction to readers that summarizes and shows readers the “how-to” relying on God by and through the leading and guiding of the Holy Spirit. It is his firm belief that we cannot do “Christianity” by ourselves, but we “love” because God has loved us first. A Wonderful, well rounded Biblical guide to navigating life in culture that is against “walking in the light.” Highly recommended for all, new or mature believers, also to those who want to deepen their faith. Living as a Christian requires growth, maturity, and then full reliance on God. Title: How to Be a Christian in Today’s World Reverend Matthew Hogan A CBM Christian Book Review 10.0 out of 10.0+ stars
