Mastering Effective Communication in Election Season: Navigating Propaganda, Social Challenges, and Relationship Strains
The Propaganda Challenge We’re in a major election year. I have to be careful about my focus so that I don’t dread it and get frustrated by it. For me, the first thing I hate is the propaganda. Both sides use it. You can expect it to be there anytime there are messages that are deliberately inflammatory. Nastiness and Strained Friendships Propaganda is only the beginning of what I don’t look forward to. I don’t look forward to the nastiness that will surely come. Friendships will be strained as people argue over points that they may or may not fully understand. Of course, it will likely be at its worst on social media. Communication Struggles in Society I deal with this in a more focused way on a daily basis. Almost every couple that comes to me for counseling has communications at the root of their problems. It’s no surprise really; our society doesn’t have or teach good communication skills. Biblical Wisdom on Communication The Bible, of course, has the answer. James 1:19-20 says “But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; 20 for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.” Nor does the anger of man convince anyone of anything quite frankly. As I study the scriptures more and more, I find instructive passages like this seem to be ordered very deliberately. They lead with the most important point first. We must be quick to hear. Instead of hearing the whole message, we hear something that triggers us, then we are quick to respond with defensiveness which starts the process of escalation. The Power of Being Heard The first thing I teach couples (and wish I could teach society) is that everyone needs to feel heard. I need to know that you not only heard the words I said but placed value on them even if you don’t agree. We all need to know we’ve been heard. Communication Exercise Being heard with compassion is a de-escalator! The tension drops dramatically when a person knows that the other person heard them. Again, agreeing has nothing to do with it. But showing the other person that you value them enough to hear them changes everything. I have an exercise that I teach to couples that makes a dramatic difference in their lives. In essence, they are each to come with something benign. The first person speaks for one to two minutes. While the first person is speaking, the second person is listening very deliberately. As they are listening, they are trying to find that nugget that will tell them something about the other person or what is most important to them. Then the second person reiterates. This is NOT repeating! “So, what I heard was….” We don’t know if the words that were spoken mean the same thing to both people. But if I tell you what I heard in my own words, then we’re more likely to know whether I understood you or not. Now, the second person speaks, and the first person listens and reiterates. Listening all the way through and responding with compassion are key! Real-Life Application of Communication Skills When we move these skills into real life, what results is real communication and understanding. There’s more room for differing opinions because we never escalate. Then, of course, there is the magic that if we are really listening, we might learn something. I encourage you to be quick to listen. If you are willing, I also encourage you to find someone who is willing to do the exercise with you. I’ve found after teaching it to hundreds of couples that they need to do the exercise five or more times per week to get anything out of it. Of course, you can practice the skills on your own. In all of your random conversations throughout the week, try listening and reiterating what seemed to be the biggest point to the other person. Imagine how many problems we could solve in this world if we would all learn to be quick to listen!
New Beginnings and Embracing Christ’s Grace: A Resolution Worth Keeping
Welcoming the New Year: A Time for Second Chances New beginnings, second chances, mulligans…. That’s what we envision each new year granting us. It’s an opportunity for things to go better for us. Or, probably more often, it’s an opportunity for us to do something better. Creating a new good habit, breaking a bad one, or improving ourselves in some way are things that come to mind. Biblical Theme of Renewal These new beginnings or do overs are nothing new. In all actuality they are a Biblical theme. As we read the Old Testament, we see the Israelites flounder in following God. I’ve heard people sound amazed that after seeing God’s provision and protection repeatedly, they still failed to trust God and did things their own way. And each time they did, they suffered the consequences. And yet, God had mercy and grace and allowed them a new beginning. He repeatedly had mercy for them and put His protection and provision over them once again. The Ultimate New Beginning: Christ’s Birth Of course, we celebrated the ultimate new beginning a week ago. Of course, I’m referring to the birth of the Christ child, the arrival of the Messiah. “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.” Mark 10:45 (NASB95). I love that verse. We were/are captives by our own doing. We are not free. We see the same theme in John 8:31-38. That’s where we see the well-known verse, “the truth will make you free.” (John 8:32). And who is the truth? Of course, we know that Christ is the way, the truth, and the life! (John 14:6) In John chapter 8, Jesus continues to say that whoever sins is a slave to sin. Worse yet, he points out that the slave is only in the home for a while. It isn’t his to inherit. So as long as we stay slaves to sin, we will not inhabit the eternal kingdom. But since the Son is the direct heir to the Father (for illustrative purposes) then the Son has the authority to change our status from slave to free men! He lends us His status as sinless as long as we cling to Him. (Yes, I believe that we can walk away on our own even if nobody can pluck us from His hand. John 10:27-29) Striving to Draw Closer to Christ How do we embrace that new beginning? How do make the most of Christ’s saving grace? In Philippians 3, Paul is talking about being like Christ and hope of the resurrection. Remember that a focus of the Pharisees was looking forward to being resurrected and Paul had been a devout Pharisee until he met Jesus on the road to Damascus. The concept of eternal life or the rapture are really the same thing. So, starting in verse 12, Paul says that although He has not yet obtained perfection through the resurrection he says he “presses on to lay hold of that (resurrection) for which also I was laid hold of by Christ.” (verse 12) Note that he is striving to lay hold of it, but Christ HAS ALREADY laid hold of him for that very purpose. That’s why in verse 13 he says that he no longer looks back. He knows that salvation is done. Christ laid hold of Him for that purpose. If Christ has laid hold of us first, then why do we need to bother to strive? We strive to draw closer to Him, to know Him and revel in His presence. He’s very clear in Romans 6 that we don’t continue to sin just so that God’s grace is even greater. And we don’t strive to gain salvation, but out of gratefulness and to continue to build our relationship with Him. A Resolution Worth Keeping: Growing Closer to Christ So, as we begin another year, I want to encourage you to join Paul and me and grab onto the one that grabbed onto you first and strive, not looking back at the much and mire and mess that we’ve all made in our lives, but look forward with expectation to an eternity with Him, whatever that will look like. Please join me in committing to growing closer to Him and reveling in His love and relationship. That’s a new year’s resolution worth keeping!
The significance of Christ’s coming and Christmas celebration
Why I didn’t write about Advent, I don’t know. There is so much significance to it. It is a time of looking forward to both the resurrection and birth of Christ. Because of this, it is a perfect time to be aware of our need for Christ. He wasn’t sent for no reason. He didn’t empty himself to be like humanity (Phil 2:4-11) without purpose. Thankfully however, Christ did come! As we look throughout the Bible, there is often the bad news and the good news. There is the bad behavior of humans and the eventual acceptance from the Lord. Unfortunately, the bad news also always brought pain. But thankfully, Christ did come! We celebrate that today and in the words of Revelation 19:1, “Hallelujah, Salvation and Glory and Power belong to our God.” Hallelujah literally translated means “Praise ye the Lord!” It is a term or phrase of adoration. So, Merry Christmas! May you be blessed, and you are! Christ came for you and for that we cry out Hallelujah, praise ye the Lord as we adore Him.
God’s House and Spiritual Inclusion in Christianity
The Middle East Conflict: Israel’s Claim and the Al-Aqsa Mosque As war goes on in the Middle East, Israel’s claim to the land is a point of discussion for many. And yet, as they claim the land, the Al-Aqsa Mosque is built where the Temple belongs. Why does this matter? Understanding God’s Holy House Well, in the Old Testament, God talks of His Holy House. That was the Temple. Many Christians view any church sanctuary as God’s Holy place and deserving of respect. I have a respect for sanctuaries myself. Yet, when we read the Old Testament, that isn’t specifically what God was referring to. Why does this matter? Well, I believe and teach that the Old Testament is as relevant now as it was when it was written. As a disclaimer, I must say that context and an understanding of the Bible as a whole is critical to understanding some parts of the Old Testament. Isaiah’s Message of Inclusion Going way back to about 700 years before Christ was born, Isaiah spoke to the issue of the separation between the Gentiles (non-Jews) and His Holy people. After all, we would not be allowed in the Temple if it were rebuilt today. But, in Isaiah 56 God tells the foreigners that have joined themselves to the Lord that they are His and He will keep them. It’s another beautiful example that the Bible is consistent from beginning to end and that God is a god of love for all of His people. God’s Invitation to All I don’t know how many non-Christians read my blog, but if that’s you, I want you to know that you aren’t necessarily separated either. God wants you. Accepting God’s Invitation What you need to do to make that relationship real and full isn’t complicated. All you have to do is to accept His invitation to become his student. To be willing to allow Him not just into your life, as in going to church. But, at some point, you also need to be willing to be vulnerable enough to allow Him into your heart. Let Him know your pains and frustrations, hopes and fears. It’s not complicated. Getting over ourselves enough to be vulnerable to Him is usually the hard part. Encouragement for Christians And for those Christians that aren’t feeling fulfilled in their relationship with Him, I encourage you to become vulnerable too. Embracing God’s Unconditional Love God loves you because He loves you. Not because you look good, smell good, and maybe even do good. He loved you before you were born! Let Him in. I invite you to go over to my BOOKS page and check out what I’ve written on these subjects. I promise, the whole Bible has the message woven throughout, that He loves you whether you think you deserve it or not.
God’s Unwavering Love and our Security in His Hands
The Timeless Themes of the Bible I love the continuity of the Bible. There are so many themes that run through it across several thousand years. Of course, the primary themes all deal with His love for us. Once we can accept the concept that He does indeed love us more than we can ever imagine then the next concept is how he keeps us. I was reading from Isaiah chapter 49 and was reminded yet again of this. Though I think that most of us are more familiar with the passage from John 10:27-29, “My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me; 28 and I give eternal life to them, and they will never perish; and no one will snatch them out of My hand. 29]My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand.” Unwavering Security: The Sheep in His Hand Our security is in the fact that once we (the sheep) follow Him, nobody can pluck us from His hand. So many things happen in this life. Sometimes God comes through with mighty miracles and sometimes He feels so far away. As I often discuss with my counselees, feelings are not facts! I think Him feeling far away happens when we don’t see the answers that we expect. We may not have specific answers in mind, but some kind of answer at least. So, when we don’t hear His voice or see Him acting, then we feel alone. But when we remember that we are His and in His hand, then we can find some peace in circumstances that aren’t what we want or expect. It’s the concept of remembering and trusting that He knows better than we do, and that He knows and wants what is best for us and the Kingdom. This can be difficult to remember as humans in the flesh. Blessed Brokenness: Discovering God’s Glory in the Ashes As I cover in my new book Blessed Brokenness: Seeing God’s Glory in the Ashes of Life, coming to the realization that He is using us can be such an incredible blessing. It certainly helped me! But, as I said in the beginning, this is a theme that runs throughout the Bible. The human in Christ didn’t want the pain coming His way, but would accept it for the sake of the Kingdom. Even Paul was able to put aside pain and significant suffering as He was being used to minister. Even further back than either of those though was the time of Isaiah. In Isaiah 49:5-6 we see how Isaiah enjoyed the fact that God is using Him and knew that because God was using Him, he could rely on God to be his strength. The Permanence of God’s Inscription Then later, we see a verse that is clearly connected to the passage from John. Isaiah 49:16 says, “Behold, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands; Your walls are continually before Me.” God was not talking to Isaiah here, He was talking to His people that He said forgot Him even though He never forgot them! “I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands.” The people were like tattoos on His hands. There’s an overwhelming permanence to that. I praise God that He has had a plan for all time and that His plan was to be in a loving relationship with us for all of time and beyond.
The Timeless Truths Bible
Once again, I have enjoyed the honor of receiving an advance copy of a Bible as a member of the Bible Gateway Blogger Grid. They requested only that I write an honest review of the Bible after receiving it. And once again, I have only good things to say about this Bible. It is the New English Translation, which received extensive and thorough reviews as part of the process of the translation. It therefore is a wonderful combination of readability and accuracy. The Timeless Truths Bible includes sections of commentary from various Christian historical figures. It also includes some information about some of these people. I agree completely with the editorial staff of the Timeless Truths Bible that it is important to include the thoughts and understandings of these historical scholars and men of God. When working on a book or a sermon, I find that not only researching the original languages but also checking in with a commentary helps me to make sure that I don’t get off track. Having this material included in the margins will be helpful for any reader. You can get your own copy here.
The Word: How It Enriches My Life
The Paint Project I missed posting and sending out my newsletter last week as I recruited family members to put a very much needed coat of paint on my house. It took the better part of the week and left me exhausted on a daily basis. To be honest, I’m still recovering and putting off going around with a paint can and a brush to hit the light spots. Protecting My Home and Rediscovering Priorities I love looking at the house and knowing that it is protected for some time to come. That isn’t the biggest takeaway though. I realized what a toll it takes on me to be spending all my time on activities other than ministry. Sure, the physical toll was one thing. But I missed spending the majority of my day in the Word and sharing through my various writings and counseling sessions what God’s Word has for us. The Awakening: Rediscovering My Mission I noticed the difference the very first day that I spent back on the laptop. But this morning while I was listening to my large playlist, I heard a song that really spelled it out very well. The song “Just Love” by Diamond Rio came on. In the middle of the song there are a few lines that really reminded me of my mission, what God has called me to. The song says, “Sunday morning worship Everybody hears it Are we gonna live it Just love.” Challenges to Lasting Faith: The Parable of the Sower For many years, my wife and I have seen how much of what we see, hear, and say in church often doesn’t last very long. Often the attitude of worship and things we might have learned from the sermon are gone by the time we get home. Much like the Parable of the Sower (Matthew 13:3-9) there are so many things that keep the Word and the very love of God from making a significant difference in our hearts the rest of the week. I think for most of us, it is the thorns that get in the way. Jesus described three specific types of soil where seeds will not flourish. One, which resembles our world today, is ground where thorns rise up and choke out the good plants as they try to grow. The Message of God’s Love: A Mission Our world is so full of distractions, worries, and priorities that aren’t Him. That’s why I wrote my first book, How to be a Christian in Today’s World: Shame or Fear of Failure vs. Living Confidently in God’s Love. Too many just don’t know how much God loves them and therefore can’t live in it and share it with the world. Rejoicing in Ministry I’m glad my house is painted. But I’m even more glad to be back on the computer studying and writing and reveling in the glory of God. I pray that if you don’t already take time to be in the presence of our loving God on a daily basis that you will. I know I benefit from it, I know you can too.
The Evangelical Study Bible
As a member of the Bible Gateway Blogger Grid, I received an advance review copy of the Evangelical Study Bible with the request that I give it an honest review. Although the New King James Version is not my favorite translation, there is so much to this Bible that I can easily overlook that fact. The Evangelical Study Bible is packed with more comprehensive material than any other study Bible I have ever seen. It includes doctrinal notes (from a clearly evangelical perspective), contextual notes, translator notes, brief biographies of Biblical characters as well as information on archaeological sites and much more. There are so many tools packed into this one volume that it includes a “How to use the Evangelical Study Bible” section! Although the sheer amount of extra material and a key for it may seem daunting, I believe this Bible truly gives every Christian the tools to understand the Bible and thereby the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit in a way that traditionally required a scholar and many different tools to put all of this together. I have always written and preached with a desire to open the Word to help people reach a deeper understanding. This Bible does that. I strongly encourage all Christians to consider getting one for their study. We can easily be a Christian floating around with no path or understanding, or we can truly understand what we believe and why we believe it, so that we can share it with the world. You can get your copy here. #BibleGatewayPartner
The Power of Gathering and Prayer in Christianity: Strengthening Faith and Community
The Power of Gathering as Christians I received an email of a blog post last week. It was an impressively well-written piece about the four ways that we as Christians need to gather and how each benefits us individually and corporately. The last was prayer. The author talked about praying together, whether in church or just as small groups. The point was made that all too often we promise to pray for someone and we all know that many get busy and forget. (If we’re honest, many likely never really intend to pray.) What is much better, the author said, is to pray for and agree in prayer with others. I have to say I must agree that being prayed for or praying and having others join you to agree in prayer can do so much to lift a person up. The Impact of Community in Trying Times Last Thursday was an early, long, and difficult day for the whole household. I spent much of the day alone, in the dark about how my wife was doing. I realized in the early afternoon why I was feeling so poorly physically and struggling to move. The way the day had started, I missed taking my medications for over five hours. By mid-afternoon, I could have been in a very dark place. I wasn’t. I write and teach about controlling our thought lives. I do everything I teach. I wasn’t in a dark place, but I was tired and wanting some encouragement. Most of the time, just being with God is good enough for me. But sometimes we need ‘God with skin on.’ In other words, we need the encouragement of our brothers and sisters in Christ (Heb 10:24-25). So, I called a dear ministry friend and we talked for a few minutes. He listened and cared without any pity or comparing hurts. When I was done and he had asked a few questions, He asked if he could pray. Indeed, that turned out to be exactly what I needed. The True Meaning of Assembling Together As Heb 10:24-25 says, we are to not forsake our assembling together. We often think of this as attending church. But it also is any time that we get together and lift each other up. We need to have at least a couple of friends that we can and will be real with. They need to support us in our faith. Of course, we need to know that these friends will be discreet. I encourage people to verbalize this need in the form of an agreement. Not everyone will agree to being that friend. Not everyone can be that friend. A Call to Unite in Faith I encourage you to draw close to Him, but don’t try to do it alone either. Assemble together with your congregation and with brothers and sisters in Christ. Encourage one another. Pray for each other. And be blessed. Exploring Deeper Spiritual Insights If you want to understand more about living in Christ during troubled times, you can learn how my wife and I did through my new book, “Blessed Brokenness: Seeing God’s Glory in the Ashes of Life.”
Finding Hope in Struggles: Enduring Challenges and Embracing Faith
Finding Hope in the Midst of Struggles In the mid-1990s, my wife and I were struggling. I would go in the bathroom and crank the song “No Doubt” by Petra over and over with the shower running so my wife didn’t hear me in there sobbing. It says, “This test of your faith will last As long as it takes to pass Till you have no more doubt you’ll endure And you’re faith will emerge true and pure.” Biblical Themes of Endurance This theme is throughout several books of the Bible. In Isaiah, we read about the nation of Israel getting slapped down by other nations. We hear about those other nations getting slapped down. And we read about His love for the Israelites and His desire to restore them as His people. In Jeremiah, we find one of the verses that we find everywhere. “For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. .” Jeremiah 29:11 (NASB95) But before that God tells the Israelites that have been drug off to Babylon that they need to settle in and live for they’re going to be there a while, seventy years to be exact. Living in the Present Both prophets and the song I quoted have a common theme. There will be troubles then at some point we will come out on the other side. Jeremiah adds the theme that people should live in the present. In Ecclesiastes, Solomon mentions that we should eat, drink, and work. We should live in the present as the past is past and, in the future, the present will be past. Embracing Life But the focus is not on dwelling on our pain but living and building lives. Solomon even says to enjoy the work God gave you. God’s Timing and Plan The point is that we have had struggles, are having struggles, or will have struggles. Sometimes God will quickly and obviously move on our behalf. Then other times, it may take a little longer. We may end up feeling hopeless and abandoned. Job was patient for a while, but finally accused God of being angry with him. Trusting in God’s Unseen Plan I want to encourage you that even if He isn’t letting you in on the plan, God has one for you. Another line from the song “No Doubt” says, “No doubt in the end it will be understood.” A Prayer for You My prayer for you is of course that you will get through your struggles and find peace by the grace of God. Discover More in My New Book If you’d like to learn more about my journey and maybe get some encouragement on how you can find peace, you can preorder my new book “Blessed Brokenness: Seeing God’s Glory in the Ashes of Life.” It’s due to come out on October 10. If you want to read more about it, go here.
