I have a confession to make
I’m human and despite all the good advice that people come to me for, I sometimes don’t follow it myself.
Contentment Amidst Challenges: Lessons from “Blessed Brokenness”
Some may know whether through my books or other means that I am disabled. I have a neurological condition that is uncurable and progressive. At this point, I’ve been unable to get proper treatment or even a solid diagnosis. I’m forced to work with my primary care physician, who isn’t comfortable doing very much. He does try to treat my symptoms but won’t try anything new since he doesn’t understand what is happening. I get it, “Do no harm.” I already have been through a horrible experience that turned out to be a reaction to a medication prescribed by a doctor that was trying to help and that I trusted. I’m not complaining mind you. If you have read my second book, Blessed Brokenness, then you already know that I have learned to be content. (Sort of.)
Escalating Symptoms: Facing Uncertainty Once Again
At any rate, my symptoms have recently gotten worse again. Each time they do, I have to learn a new routine, a new acceptable standard for myself. This time, I’m struggling a little. I’m working on a third book and I’m still counseling, but I can’t get past this feeling that God has more for me to do. So, I feel like I need to do it before I can’t anymore.
This is where I have failed to follow my own (and God’s) advice. In the 30th chapter of Isaiah, we find the prophet giving the people a serious tongue lashing. He’s letting them know that God is not happy, and destruction is coming their way. In verse 15 we find out why. Apparently, God had told them that He would handle some enemy. He wanted them to trust Him, to lean on Him. They didn’t. Instead, they made an alliance with Egypt.
Now, I believe completely that all of scripture has something for us today. Although we do need to understand the context and setting in some instances, if God makes a promise, it somehow applies to us today.
Feeling a Sense of Urgency
So, I mentioned that I find myself feeling like I need to get busy on doing more before I can’t. I allowed this to turn into something urgent and important that I had to solve. I have spent too many hours and too much time over the last couple of months in particular trying to put together what I think I can do next. We have a philosophy around our house, do what God gives you to do, but never force anything. And what was I doing in spending all this time trying to figure out what and how to start working on? I realized I was running to Egypt, so to speak.
Learning from Isaiah: Trusting God’s Promises
Isaiah 30:15 says, “For thus the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel, has said, “In repentance and rest you will be saved, In quietness and trust is your strength.” (NASB95)
Funny thing, now that I’ve remembered to rest and trust and have repented of trying to find my own way of doing ministry instead of waiting on Him, I feel much better. And I’m so thankful for His grace and forgiveness.
Finding Peace in Repentance and Rest: A Revelation
Is there something in your life that’s His to handle and you’re trying to do it for Him? I encourage you to pray about that and be honest with yourself. If there is something, then please ask Him to help you rest and trust him.
